Monday, December 28, 2009

No Rest For the Weary

Obamacare passed in the Senate Christmas Eve morn, a would-be terrorist tried to blow up Detroit (but the system worked and the passengers stopped it!), and Israel is recalling all its diplomats for a "powwow." I love the relaxation of the holiday season!

We must keep up the good fight. I get weary, waking every morning to log onto Drudge to find out what "they're" trying to pull today, but I will continue to have my senators and my congressman on speed-dial and have my fingers at the ready to e-mail -- again -- an angry letter that asks -- again -- the question, "Where in the Constitution do you derive these powers? When is representation to be restored to this people? How is this NOT taxation without representation?"

I don't have the answers to these questions, but I did find a comfort food recipe I've been searching for forever. When I was a little girl, Cherry Cheesecake was my favorite dessert -- and it's simple to make, thanks to the 1970's penchant for using canned goods and pudding mixes. More of a pie, really, I'm hoping you like it, too.

MOM'S CHERRY CHEESECAKE

2 (8-oz.) packages cream cheese
2 small packages Jell-O instant vanilla pudding
2 1/2 cups milk
1 1/2 T. lemon juice
cherry pie filling
graham cracker crust

Beat cream cheese until smooth, then slowly add 1/2 cup milk. When the milk is fully incorporated, add instant pudding, then the rest of the milk. Beat just until creamy and add lemon juice. Pour into graham cracker crust, then top with cherry pie filling.

Gourmet? No -- but as welcome on a winter's night as a toasty fire and comfy socks. I've also made this as a parfait, layered with plain graham cracker crumbs and topped off with the cherry sauce. For my diabetic friends, the cherry filling comes in a "no sugar added" version from Comstock, and feel free to use the sugar-free Jell-O instant vanilla pudding.

It's just the thing to bolster the spirit and make one ready to write and call -- ad infinitum -- one's Congressional "representatives." (Cue mocking laughter from large crowd...)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

BEST. E-MAIL. EVER!

Andrew Bolt, an Aussie, is one of the reporters who broke the Climategate scandal several weeks ago. Here is his e-mail to his prime minister, Kevin Rudd, who still thinks we need to act quickly to save the planet:

Dear Mr Rudd,

I am an Australian who respects reason and evidence, and who wants this nation to prosper - and not squander its wealth.

On Friday I heard you say there is now a group of ”opponents of climate change action ... active in every country” that is “powerful enough to threaten a deal on global climate change both in Copenhagen and beyond”.

I would like to join this group. Can you please tell me where I can enroll?

Signed....

Monday, November 30, 2009

Ding! Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

"Ding! Dong! The merry-oh!
Sing it high! Sing it low!
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!"

Have you heard about the death of Global Warming? Probably not. Her friends are trying desperately to get the check signed before the coroner finishes up her death certificate. She was going to be feted by the world next week in Copenhagen, but went into heart palpitations when she was unmasked by a whistleblower at the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia in the United Kingdom.

It seems said whistleblower unearthed about ten year's worth of e-mails in which leading climate scientists played expensive pranks on the American people, teaming up with wacky funsters like Al Gore and Ted Danson and the American media establishment to rob you of the ability to heat your home and run your air conditioner. You see, anthropomorphic global warming is based on the CRU's "climate models," shapely women who are coming to every home, apartment, teepee and wickiup in America to quadruple our electricity bills and collect money from our sorry butts for inventing central air and refrigeration.

So what did these charming e-mails say? Here are a few quotes:

"I've just completed Mike's Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years and from 1961 for Keith's to hide the decline."

"I can't see any of these papers being in the next IPCC report. Kevin and I will keep them out somehow -- even if we have to redefine what peer-reviewed literature is!"

"I'm getting hassled by a couple of people to release the CRU temperature station data. Don't any of you three tell anybody that the UK has a Freedom of Information Act!"

And my personal favorite: "The fact is that we can't account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can't."

George Monbiot, a raging global warming alarmist, lamented that the e-mails "could scarcely be more damaging...I'm deeply shaken by them."

I almost feel sorry for them. They were THIS close...THIS CLOSE! to getting the U.S. to sign on to an accord that would account for the largest transfer of wealth the world has ever seen. (In case you missed Lord Monckton's speech on youtube, you and I were going to be on the losing end of that deal.) And it still may happen, for, is the Copenhagen accord dead? Not really. While I may be singing "Free At Last," powerful people are taking turns at resuscitating the body, hoping to keep her on life support until they clear the Copenhagen hurdle. Count on a valiant effort to keep the body alive until the papers are signed...BUT, in the mean time--

SING IT WITH ME NOW!

Ding! Dong! The witch is dead!
Which old witch? The wicked witch!
Ding! Dong! The wicked witch is dead!


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Climate Debt

There's a new buzzword about to sweep the country -- once the climate conference in Copenhagen begins, we will be hearing ad nauseam about "climate debt." What is climate debt? YOU OUGHTA KNOW -- YOU OWE IT!

For the past 100 years, you see, the United States has polluted the earth with so many greenhouse gases that will damage so many lives throughout the world from Global Warming. We -- you, me, here, now -- owe our wealth to those whose lives will be destroyed when the oceans rise and the moon turns to blood. Al Gore says by 2015, my minivan will have displaced millions of Africans and Pacific Islanders and Floridians from their watery homes to wretched refugee camps inland.

Who do you think is going to pay for these displaced people? Oh, silly you -- DON'T WORRY! The United Nations has a plan. YOU, the unwitting and generous citizen of the United States, will pay! You, gentle reader, owe the developing world for your use of your car, your home, your electricity, your gas (um, natural gas), and the general way you go about your life taking all your pollutants for granted. YOU owe them all.

Of course, no one owes US a debt for creating a climate (punny!) where Edison could invent the light bulb and bring man out of the darkness and increase his productivity. No one owes US a debt for inventing the air conditioner -- thank you, Willis Haviland Carrier. We don't ask for the world to pay us for inventing modern anesthesia and medicines like the polio vaccine and antibiotics. We don't ask anything for creating more wealth in 100 years than the earth has seen since the dawn of man and sharing more educational opportunities, capital and innovation than any other nation on earth. Ever.

Of course, with real unemployment at 17.5% and a stock market teetering under the weight of its own over-valuation, I don't have a lot of extra cash. So my plan is to make a LOT of these pies and give them to the UN -- maybe then they'll leave the kids' college funds untouched.

TURTLE PUMPKIN PIE

1/4 cup plus 2 Tablespoons caramel sauce, divided
1 graham cracker pie crust
1/2 cup chopped pecans
2 pkg. (3.4 oz) vanilla INSTANT pudding
1 cup cold milk
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 (8 oz) tub Cool Whip

Pour 1/4 cup caramel sauce into bottom of pie crust, and top the caramel with pecans. In a medium bowl, blend pudding mixes, milk, pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice until blended. Fold in 1 1/2 cups Cool Whip and spoon into crust. Refrigerate 2 hours. Top with remaining Cool Whip and caramel sauce and serve to hungry guests. Or refugees.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Apologetica

Crabigail had a little surgery and went on a little vacation.

We're still entertaining the Iranians, the Dow is up (so is unemployment), and the health care bill that hasn't been written is being voted on and foisted upon an America that is largely against it.

Have a muffin.

PUMPKIN PECAN MUFFINS

1 yellow cake mix
1 small can pumpkin
2 t. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 cup water
1 T. powdered milk
1 cup chopped pecans

Mix the cake mix, pumpkin, spice, water and milk powder until batter just comes together. Fold in chopped pecans. Fill paper muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 25-30 minutes.

My low-sugar friends, feel free to use the Pillsbury half sugar/half Splenda cake mix -- it works just fine and hits the "I-just-want-something-from-the-old-days" kind of spot. (YOU know what I mean...!)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I Thee Command

There were a couple of interesting headlines tonight on "Yahoo! News"and "Politico."

The first one, from Yahoo: "Big Speech: Obama Wants Control of Health Debate." Really? Barack Obama wants control? Who would've guessed after taking over the car companies and the financial sector, he would want control of the health debate, too?

And from Politico: "Under Fire, Obama Shifts Strategy: Obama will detail his health care demands in a major speech." Demands? What are we, hostages? (Don't answer that...)

Here are my demands, as explained by a man who knew both tyranny and liberty in his life, Thomas Jefferson: "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."

I know we've all been told those creaky old Founding Fathers are so quaint and out of touch. (After all, as I've been told, wasn't the Constitution really more of a guess-timate than a bedrock document of principle?) In 1802, Jefferson said this, "Banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." Aren't little old men cute when they're uncanny prophets?

I was always told the people we sent to Washington were there to serve US. If President Obama has a list of demands, he should get in line. There are 320 million of us who are supposed to be ahead of him.

Maybe a little pick-me-up is in order. Here's a simple recipe from my grade school years -- on days they served Yummy Cookies, EVERYONE brought extra lunch money.

LIBERTY YUMMY COOKIES
2 cups granulated sugar
2 cups Karo light corn syrup
2 cups peanut butter
1 small box of Corn Flakes

Bring the sugar and corn syrup to a boil. Remove from heat and add peanut butter (careful, it's HOT!) Let cool a few minutes. Grease a sheet pan with butter. Pour corn flakes onto sheet pan, then pour peanut butter goo all over the corn flakes. Press mixture firmly into the pan (I find it helpful to butter my hands lightly before I start...) Cool, and cut into squares.

It's like being in the sixth grade all over again...






Thursday, August 20, 2009

Sheepish Confessions

So a dear friend comments to me -- not on my blog, mind you, but to my face -- "Why do you give out all these dessert recipes if you're a diabetic?"

My answer: "There are reasons I am diabetic. My pancreas is tired. And I have a treasure trove of wee tasties that deserve to be passed on to the benefit of all mankind." (...most of which happen to be very sinful...)

While I have diabetes, it does not have me. These days, with a little juggling, I can eat almost anything as long as I starve myself of proper food, have plenty of advance notice, and ingest said tasty treats in miniscule portions. Life isn't perfect, but as the great Spencer Tracy would say, "It may not be much, but what's there is churce."

To prove I actually eat something besides cookie bars, here's a recipe for some proper food -- it's what people at my church call a perfect food storage recipe. It's simple, it's a one-pot meal, and I actually won a prize for this at Preparedness Night.

CHICKEN TACO STEW

1 teaspoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 (16-oz.)can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 (16-oz.)can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 (16-oz.)can corn, drained
1 (8-oz.) can tomato sauce
1 (28-oz.) can tomatoes
1 (7-oz.) can diced green chilies
1 packet taco seasoning
1 teaspoon cumin
2 or 3 cans chicken breast(I know! but you have to use it in SOMETHING!)
chopped cilantro, optional

Heat oil in a dutch oven and add onion; stir until the onions are translucent (for those educated in California, that means "see-through"). Add black beans, kidney beans, corn, tomato sauce, tomatoes, green chilies, taco seasoning, and cumin and stir with a really big spoon. Drain canned chicken and add in the last five minutes of cooking. Spoon into bowls and garnish with a healthy dusting of chopped cilantro.

I got extra points for including the cilantro out of my garden. If I had a cow and could make my own sour cream, I might have run away with the big prize of the night, a huge wheat grinder that looked like it came out of the opening credits of Kate and Leopold (in unison now, girls: sigh for Leo...!) I was thrilled with the cookbook, however, because I never win anything, except, of course, the love of Mr. Adams and the young lad and lass, which makes life ginger-peachy and so worth whatever I have to do to keep on living.






Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Health Care Nightmare

I think I've solved our health care dilemma! I've got it all figured out.

If uninsured people wish to be covered, we expand Medicaid, which was created to insure those who can't afford insurance. They can have Medicaid!

Except of course, that the uninsured would rather have NOTHING than have Medicaid, because, of course, Medicaid SUCKS. THAT'S off the table!

And it's going bankrupt, too, because it's a government-run program and they ruin everything they touch. To quote The Great Barack Obama, "It's not UPS and Fedex that have problems; it's the Post Office with all the troubles."

But if Medicaid is already in financial trouble insuring 39 million people, and the coverage stinks, how are they going to insure 320 million people well for less money so the new program WON'T go bankrupt?

Do you think they might scale back on people's treatment? Preposterous! That wouldn't be fair to people who already like their medical care -- there are about 280 million of them.

But we all know life isn't fair. I remember a story about a woman in Canada who went into labor -- her local hospital had a full maternity ward and didn't have to take another pregnant woman and refused her admittance. As a matter of fact, every maternity ward in the province of Manitoba was full. Thank goodness there was a bed available a thousand miles away in British Columbia. She was flown there while in labor and had a successful delivery. And they paid for her flight!...It's a really good system.

And the lottery system -- you see, available physicians in Canada are concentrated in the cities, where the need is greatest, so there are shortages of doctors in outlying towns. One town has a lottery -- all the families needing to see a doctor put their names into the hat, and when a doctor becomes available, a name is drawn and a secretary from the mayor's office calls you to give you the happy news that you CAN see a doctor now! I'll bet there's a lot of celebrating in those families...you know, the ones that get the care.

Okay -- I don't have a fix for health care, and I guarantee you that no one else does, either, least of all the geniuses in Washington. So let's stop calling it an emergency that has to be done by July 30 -- what?! we missed the President's emergency deadline and we're still alive??!! -- and listen to the people and really discuss it and do so honestly, because I'm not prepared to hand the sovereignty of my body to the state. (I'm kidding about the "honest" discussion, of course! How can you tell a politician is lying? HIS LIPS ARE MOVING!)

Did someone say rationing? No? Well, ration THIS, Congress.

GERMAN CHOCOLATE BUNDT CAKE

1 chocolate cake mix (18.25 ounces)
1 tub of Coconut Pecan frosting
1 cup water
1/3 cup softened butter
3 large eggs

Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt pan and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place all ingredients in a mixing bowl and blend on low for 30 seconds. Scrape down sides of mixer and beat two minutes more on medium speed. Pour the very thick batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake 50 minutes or until the cake springs back when touched lightly with your forefinger. Cool for 30 minutes, then loosen sides and turn out onto a cake plate.
(Loving coconut pecan frosting just slightly less than my own flesh and blood, I thin out a second tub of frosting -- by microwaving it for 25 seconds -- and drizzle it over the cake, just to add to the ridiculous decadence of this tasty little treat.)




Friday, July 31, 2009

Overwhelming the system

The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket; the system is being overwhelmed and at a breakneck pace.

Obama and Congress are trying to pass taxes on energy consumption, on potato chips and Coke (and Ding-Dongs!!), and your health care plan.  They are re-working the way farms are run, with a nod to Monsanto and friends (good to know they're looking out for me and you, and Ding-Dongs!)   They are doling out free money left and right with their Stimuli and their TARPs, while deciding how certain jobs are compensated and deciding what's fair to pay those who HAVE jobs as they continue to make policy that causes others to LOSE their jobs.  

(We would like to take a moment now to thank the Federal Reserve, whose job SINCE 1913 is to make sure our monetary system is free of volatility.  How's that working out, America?!)

History shows us that the government solves problems by creating programs that then create more problems and cost more money; I think I want them in charge of my health care, too!

The good news is that, for now, there's still junk food.  Here is a recipe for Scotcharoos, a fabulous little treat I first encountered as a child on vacation in Arizona.  We may be in it up to our knees politically, but treats can make anything bearable. 

SCOTCHAROOS

1 cup sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup peanut butter
6 cups Rice Krispies
1/3 cup semi-sweet chips
1/3 cup butterscotch chips
1/3 cup milk chocolate chips

In a medium saucepan, bring sugar and corn syrup to a boil (be careful -- it's VERY HOT.)  Remove from heat, add peanut butter and whisk to fully combine.  Add Rice Krispies.  Pat into a buttered 9x13 pan.  In a double boiler, melt all the chips slowly over medium heat and stir until smooth.  Drizzle over the top of the Krispie mixture.  Let cool about an hour and cut into bars.  

Prijatno, Comrades!