Monday, November 30, 2009

Ding! Dong! The Witch Is Dead!

"Ding! Dong! The merry-oh!
Sing it high! Sing it low!
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!"

Have you heard about the death of Global Warming? Probably not. Her friends are trying desperately to get the check signed before the coroner finishes up her death certificate. She was going to be feted by the world next week in Copenhagen, but went into heart palpitations when she was unmasked by a whistleblower at the Climate Research Unit at the University of East Anglia in the United Kingdom.

It seems said whistleblower unearthed about ten year's worth of e-mails in which leading climate scientists played expensive pranks on the American people, teaming up with wacky funsters like Al Gore and Ted Danson and the American media establishment to rob you of the ability to heat your home and run your air conditioner. You see, anthropomorphic global warming is based on the CRU's "climate models," shapely women who are coming to every home, apartment, teepee and wickiup in America to quadruple our electricity bills and collect money from our sorry butts for inventing central air and refrigeration.

So what did these charming e-mails say? Here are a few quotes:

"I've just completed Mike's Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years and from 1961 for Keith's to hide the decline."

"I can't see any of these papers being in the next IPCC report. Kevin and I will keep them out somehow -- even if we have to redefine what peer-reviewed literature is!"

"I'm getting hassled by a couple of people to release the CRU temperature station data. Don't any of you three tell anybody that the UK has a Freedom of Information Act!"

And my personal favorite: "The fact is that we can't account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can't."

George Monbiot, a raging global warming alarmist, lamented that the e-mails "could scarcely be more damaging...I'm deeply shaken by them."

I almost feel sorry for them. They were THIS close...THIS CLOSE! to getting the U.S. to sign on to an accord that would account for the largest transfer of wealth the world has ever seen. (In case you missed Lord Monckton's speech on youtube, you and I were going to be on the losing end of that deal.) And it still may happen, for, is the Copenhagen accord dead? Not really. While I may be singing "Free At Last," powerful people are taking turns at resuscitating the body, hoping to keep her on life support until they clear the Copenhagen hurdle. Count on a valiant effort to keep the body alive until the papers are signed...BUT, in the mean time--


Ding! Dong! The witch is dead!
Which old witch? The wicked witch!
Ding! Dong! The wicked witch is dead!