Thursday, November 8, 2012

A Few Tidbits ...

Interesting election, no?  Crummy election, yes?  I can't believe that many people that voted for McCain (three million!) didn't even show up to vote for Romney.  And now we're back where we started, except that Jimmy Jr. and his people are REALLY mad that anyone would deign to challenge him.  I think he's pretty mad at the voters who voted the "other way" also ... because it's all about him.  It makes me want to hide my head in the sand for another four years, but ...


Awesome, eh?  Come join me.  I hope you like Hobbits -- I like them better than Liberals. :)

Friday, January 20, 2012

She Turned Me Into a Newt!

What struck me right off the bat watching the Republican debate last night was that Newt Gingrich walks and is more-than-vaguely-shaped like Winnie-the-Pooh. Genius, right? After my Newt/Pooh epiphany, I was shocked -- SHOCKED -- to experience another blinding flash so soon: Callista is an Angry Yellow Bird. A Level-Three-Hit-the-Screen Angry Yellow Bird. (Whee! He-he!)

It's interesting to me that Callista is Ever-Present. If you see Newt, Callista is not far away. I contend that, as the "Other Woman" who replaced "Another Other Woman" (the lovely and oh-so talkative Marianne Gingrich) -- see a pattern here? -- she leaves his arm briefly as she waits outside the men's room door for Chubby Hubby, then glues herself once again to his side. I'm racking my brain to figure out another moment of the day that Yellow Bird isn't within striking distance of her Green Pig, and I got nuthin'. My guess is that she doesn't trust him between the front door and the ice cream truck. Or the back door. Is it with good reason? Maybe we should ask Jackie, the first of Newt's wives to go through the revolving Newt door.

But all this Newt-ness gets tiresome, and makes my tumbly all rumbly. Pooh likes honey; I prefer Snickers. Here's something naughty from the Second Ward cookbook and my friend Lisa C., who is a genius in the kitchen. But, HEY! -- IT'S A SALAD, folks:

Snickerdoodle Salad
4 (or 5 or 6) king-size Snickers bars (feel free to adjust according to taste), chilled and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
4 Granny Smith apples, washed and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
1/2 tub of Cool Whip

Mix together and chill for one hour. Try the low-fat Cool Whip, though it's not like the missing four grams of fat are going to make a dent in this baby. (There is NO diabetic version of this salad. But take heart that there's fruit, real fruit in there.)

Remember, friends: while Winnie-the-Pooh is a sweet and lovable ol' bear, Newt is a fat, pasty ol' man and I don't even want to think about pretty young things throwing themselves at him for ... what? why? {{{{{shudders}}}}}}

I got nuthin'. Pass the brain bleach.