Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Health Care Nightmare

I think I've solved our health care dilemma! I've got it all figured out.

If uninsured people wish to be covered, we expand Medicaid, which was created to insure those who can't afford insurance. They can have Medicaid!

Except of course, that the uninsured would rather have NOTHING than have Medicaid, because, of course, Medicaid SUCKS. THAT'S off the table!

And it's going bankrupt, too, because it's a government-run program and they ruin everything they touch. To quote The Great Barack Obama, "It's not UPS and Fedex that have problems; it's the Post Office with all the troubles."

But if Medicaid is already in financial trouble insuring 39 million people, and the coverage stinks, how are they going to insure 320 million people well for less money so the new program WON'T go bankrupt?

Do you think they might scale back on people's treatment? Preposterous! That wouldn't be fair to people who already like their medical care -- there are about 280 million of them.

But we all know life isn't fair. I remember a story about a woman in Canada who went into labor -- her local hospital had a full maternity ward and didn't have to take another pregnant woman and refused her admittance. As a matter of fact, every maternity ward in the province of Manitoba was full. Thank goodness there was a bed available a thousand miles away in British Columbia. She was flown there while in labor and had a successful delivery. And they paid for her flight!...It's a really good system.

And the lottery system -- you see, available physicians in Canada are concentrated in the cities, where the need is greatest, so there are shortages of doctors in outlying towns. One town has a lottery -- all the families needing to see a doctor put their names into the hat, and when a doctor becomes available, a name is drawn and a secretary from the mayor's office calls you to give you the happy news that you CAN see a doctor now! I'll bet there's a lot of celebrating in those families...you know, the ones that get the care.

Okay -- I don't have a fix for health care, and I guarantee you that no one else does, either, least of all the geniuses in Washington. So let's stop calling it an emergency that has to be done by July 30 -- what?! we missed the President's emergency deadline and we're still alive??!! -- and listen to the people and really discuss it and do so honestly, because I'm not prepared to hand the sovereignty of my body to the state. (I'm kidding about the "honest" discussion, of course! How can you tell a politician is lying? HIS LIPS ARE MOVING!)

Did someone say rationing? No? Well, ration THIS, Congress.

GERMAN CHOCOLATE BUNDT CAKE

1 chocolate cake mix (18.25 ounces)
1 tub of Coconut Pecan frosting
1 cup water
1/3 cup softened butter
3 large eggs

Grease and flour a 12-cup Bundt pan and preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place all ingredients in a mixing bowl and blend on low for 30 seconds. Scrape down sides of mixer and beat two minutes more on medium speed. Pour the very thick batter into the prepared pan and smooth the top. Bake 50 minutes or until the cake springs back when touched lightly with your forefinger. Cool for 30 minutes, then loosen sides and turn out onto a cake plate.
(Loving coconut pecan frosting just slightly less than my own flesh and blood, I thin out a second tub of frosting -- by microwaving it for 25 seconds -- and drizzle it over the cake, just to add to the ridiculous decadence of this tasty little treat.)




Friday, July 31, 2009

Overwhelming the system

The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket; the system is being overwhelmed and at a breakneck pace.

Obama and Congress are trying to pass taxes on energy consumption, on potato chips and Coke (and Ding-Dongs!!), and your health care plan.  They are re-working the way farms are run, with a nod to Monsanto and friends (good to know they're looking out for me and you, and Ding-Dongs!)   They are doling out free money left and right with their Stimuli and their TARPs, while deciding how certain jobs are compensated and deciding what's fair to pay those who HAVE jobs as they continue to make policy that causes others to LOSE their jobs.  

(We would like to take a moment now to thank the Federal Reserve, whose job SINCE 1913 is to make sure our monetary system is free of volatility.  How's that working out, America?!)

History shows us that the government solves problems by creating programs that then create more problems and cost more money; I think I want them in charge of my health care, too!

The good news is that, for now, there's still junk food.  Here is a recipe for Scotcharoos, a fabulous little treat I first encountered as a child on vacation in Arizona.  We may be in it up to our knees politically, but treats can make anything bearable. 

SCOTCHAROOS

1 cup sugar
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup peanut butter
6 cups Rice Krispies
1/3 cup semi-sweet chips
1/3 cup butterscotch chips
1/3 cup milk chocolate chips

In a medium saucepan, bring sugar and corn syrup to a boil (be careful -- it's VERY HOT.)  Remove from heat, add peanut butter and whisk to fully combine.  Add Rice Krispies.  Pat into a buttered 9x13 pan.  In a double boiler, melt all the chips slowly over medium heat and stir until smooth.  Drizzle over the top of the Krispie mixture.  Let cool about an hour and cut into bars.  

Prijatno, Comrades!